Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
看完了很委屈，知道了自己严重的mami issue咋来的了，嘤。
9分。贾玲让全国人民认识了她的妈妈，这才是最厉害的怀念。电影中前面有多搞笑，结尾就有多催泪。贾玲和李焕英喝酒那段之后，整个情绪就变了，从影片成了贾玲的告白，那一段哭戏已经不是演技，单纯就是真哭，所以就特别感染人。结尾的反转在前面已经隐藏了很多细节，进一步摧毁了观众情感防线，也把前面的不合理之处给解释了，而且从伏笔来说这一部作品也有推理电影的感觉。还有，本片中的穿越最后没有改变未来并不是出于各种意外，而是人为选择的结果，再加上故意放弃父亲这个角色的描写，都是为了突出李焕英发自内心地喜爱有贾玲在的生活。要说缺点就是陈赫这个角色是不完整的，拉了一条他和贾玲的感情线，但最后不了了之了，有点可惜。另外，如果能把前面的喜剧桥段和最后的催泪情节融合起来就真的完美了，电影中只有二人转那一段稍微有点这种效果。
纯粹为了支持给三星。不然就是一星。就那样吧。真情实感，但剧情一塌糊涂。前面笑的部分没啥包袱，后面煽情生硬极了。贾玲背景音里嚎啕大哭时候，我是一边无法自控地不住落泪，一边心里大吼woc这也可以！简直了。情感表达既不高级，也不动人。
不管是剧情还是拍摄手法都挺普通的，但是看着很舒服，不让人讨厌反感，这就是女导演拍戏的好处啊，讲女性的故事，完全以女性为中心，男性都是陪衬而已，而且不丑化不物化女性，这年头不让人反感的国产喜剧实在太少了（唐探充斥性别歧视和色情段子）
毋庸置疑，贾玲是极真诚的，这份影像也是极私密的。以至于观众在阅读和评价这部作品时，几近于对私人日志的窥探，也在这种柔软的私人情感织成的密网中，意识到自己的逾越。态度之外，这部作品也是非常“中国”的。它最核心的情感动机，来自“争气”，每个中国人肯定都会心一笑。在国企厂矿的小社会里，熟人那种微妙的攀比、结盟、面子……在微缩社会中不断摩擦放大，又在时代洪流中一齐逝去。而在贾玲对母亲浓墨重彩的情绪宣泄中，父亲的形象几乎隐形，就连最后开跑车的幻想中也没有父亲的身影，这也非常中国。我蛮喜欢本片对旧时代的还原，也哭哭笑笑看得满开心。但不得不说，“死去的毛熊才是好毛熊”，对大多数互相控制的中国式亲子关系来说，早早离开的亲人才能成为心头永恒的白月光吧。
快7 8年没在电影院哭过了，这次确实没绷住。
天要下雨，娘要嫁人，这种话我真是在电影院极度难受，而且贾玲想让她妈过得更好只局限于让她嫁得更好，这可不就是最可悲的吗，还有啊，跟猪头三结婚，还妄想生洋娃娃？
生硬突兀的情节推进之中，饱含着真挚的情感。前面埋下的伏笔，终于在暴力反转中大放异彩。不是艺术品。是礼物，用于纪念的。
8.0/10，胜过夏洛特烦恼，有泪有笑。相比同期唐人街的毫无节制，这部电影克制的非常好，笑点不闹腾，泪点不刻意。
这个片子是不错的喜剧，结尾的反转也能催泪。可是它第一不值这么高的分，第二不值这么贵的票价。这就是典型的割韭菜！都这样拍电影，以后中国电影真没戏了。唐探3的确有自己的问题，但是制作团队真的是很卖力的在拍电影。《李焕英》就把小品注上水，就把钱骗走了，买票看的，真的是交了智商税。
有笑点有泪点，全片围绕妈妈以及女性群体，没有刻意比较恶意中伤，娓娓道来妈妈的一切，将平淡的生活用喜剧的手法体现了出来，很惊喜，原来贾玲那么有才！
除了二人转那段开头感到尴尬以外，后面半小时隐形眼镜都给我哭掉，突然想到了电影的最基本的作用，圆梦、完成纪念的使命。
可能因为之前看了综艺里的宣传，知道贾玲的故事，就更有感觉了…
大部分小孩子总会听妈妈说“要是没有你们我现在早就....”很少有李焕英式的妈妈说“我宝啊，有你妈妈就最幸福了”
题外话：这个比唐探3笑点更高级、更多
哭死我了，拿了一包抽纸，用了半包。我左手边的我妈哭得比我还凶。她说“每个人看这部电影都会想起自己的妈妈”
是回归到情感的宣泄吗？那除了电影明明有更好的表现形式在吧？不要单纯为了情感而情感，真是低俗不堪
是一部足够真诚的电影，从头到尾都承载了太多贾玲对母亲的情感寄托。真诚是这部电影最大的优点，也仅此而已。
敢于真诚袒露执念，这是一种商业稀缺，远远被低估。
这就是导演只拍给自己妈妈电影 而不是献给所有妈妈的电影 你懂我意思吧 全片0共鸣 更别说泪点了 6.5分 但是如果我事前知道是双穿越设定 结合剧情 不及格分
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