Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
魏翔的脸对我来说没什么说服力，还是佐藤浩市更🉑。
笑死怎么会有那么多看不起小鸡片看不起讲自己故事的影评人fuck y’all
开心麻花就没有别的女演员了吗？男演员一直推陈出新，女演员没见到。
看的70mm胶片放映. 结尾两人双向奔赴, 还要闪回一下, 没有必要吧....走出影院时, 我也只能是一阵沉默. 说不出什么.
魏翔的脸对我来说没什么说服力，还是佐藤浩市更🉑。
介于2-3⭐之间吧。 剧情简单，中间儿子桥段实在多余而且煽情。 喜剧最核心的，其实是演员，男主看得出用心了，可这东西确实需要天赋。 我相信男主是个不错的喜剧电影配角，但主演，他撑不起来。
电影是不错，喜剧效果很好，虽然题材上不太新鲜。而且在各个行当里都有一大群怀揣梦想坚持奋斗但注定无果的食草动物，并不是只有龙套成不了名才悲催。我觉得此类题材应该往更豁达的层面走走，尹天仇并没有一定要当大明星，你喜欢电影，喜欢表演，热爱本身就是幸福。没必要太卖惨，成功这种事，和奋斗并不一定强关联。当然，奋斗，也是热爱的一种。所以奋斗本身是幸福。命运辜负不辜负，那是命运的事。你辜负不辜负，是你的事。所以，假若你不想辜负天赋，就稍微努努力，努力的过程是很享受的。至于结果，也未必重要，未成功，比成功更耐人寻味，值得怀想。再说，万一成功了呢。比如40几岁的魏翔，对人生和戏剧都通透了，终于一战封神。魏翔真的是出乎意料地好演员。神经质，偏执人格，表情帝，形体还特别好，尤其是表演《雨中曲》那段舞蹈，很有意思。
易躁又脆弱的青春迷恋，PTA这old-school又隐约带点soggy的私人情调。
某种意义上的“随心所欲” 在PTA的纬度里只有几个镜头能感受到他的美妙
谁知道脑子里都在想些什么呢？跑向对方的身体不会说谎
致幻的情节与运镜真是PTA专属，让人舒适的观影，70年代是对现在的隐喻，创业、政治、迷幻药与广告形成了每个人生存意义的注脚，但形形色色的口号背后只剩荒诞，PTA最后落到了真情还是挺温暖的。
甘草比萨。甘草是零食，比萨是正餐。是零食，是正餐，有什么区别？等下会不会饿了，明天是不是分离，有什么所谓？眼前身后，是永动的、正在等待我们下次纵身一跃的世界。
导演拍过女主的乐队的mv，女主的妈妈就是导演小学艺术课的老师，故事的灵感来自于那会儿导演对这个老师的crush... 神奇
看个PTA我是在指望啥，指望看《恋恋笔记本》吗？？
电影院内大家都哈哈大笑，不过看完啥也记不住。魏翔演技好，希望他能红。正好这个春节档这是唯一一部适合合家欢的喜剧片，希望能给好演员更多的机会。
甘草比萨。甘草是零食，比萨是正餐。是零食，是正餐，有什么区别？等下会不会饿了，明天是不是分离，有什么所谓？眼前身后，是永动的、正在等待我们下次纵身一跃的世界。
片尾彩蛋演员和角色的相似经历让人有种恍然如梦的感觉。
【A－】观感重回《私恋失调》的同时，也要清楚其与《甘草披萨》的区别所在：以慵懒松散的创作氛围取代精心调配好的焦躁。但剧作却不再如前者那般干净凝练，而是在70s的时代侧写中不断延伸出各行各业的支线，却又迅速将其斩断回归角色关系，实质仍是灿烂情调所包裹的私人回忆。以路径和运动状态来划分幕间转折，于是这对有着十岁年龄差的未成情侣总是往同一方向共行，又或是一方停留一方冲刺。之后在那场精心雕琢的倒车戏里将此前重复的那套交心模式打破，二人关系的倒车仅由重力势能驱动，却是如此惊心动魄。唯一不满的部分还是结尾，停在上一个逆光接吻的镜头显得太俗，停在下一个奔跑的镜头又显得过分工整对仗，终究无法复刻《私恋失调》那恰到好处的眩晕感（或许以电影院门口相撞的镜头收尾才能达成我所期待的诡谲感）。
Haim的音乐实在欣赏不来，所以不太服气PTA竟沦为其御用MV导演，这次终于看出了艺术家和缪斯的关系。世界是火花四射的万花筒，他们一跑起来，我就下意识地微微仰起头，感受扑面而来的风。怀旧青春，连脸上的痘痘都自信得光芒万丈，有梦回Boogie Nights的错觉。top 2021
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