Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
整体剧本并不饱满，但是拆解开来一场场戏都是不错的，哪怕你知道它尴尬在哪但想不承认它想憋着不笑都很难，魏翔的表演确实了得，潇洒与悲凉，道出了演员这一行业的光鲜与辛酸。倘若能一直从头笑到尾，不去拔高和煽情，纯粹一些会更好。
合格的喜剧，但是作为电影 还是太碎片化，整体节奏不够行云流水。
演员真的很不错，但是故事实在很糟糕。电影中致敬经典的桥段也很奇怪，那段《雨中曲》，请问删掉影响剧情吗？
戏里戏外有互文，魏成功/魏翔都是首次出演男主角，一个演员的诞生。
因为被安利了魏老师和三谷的魔幻时刻，再加上这个电影好笑是真的好笑，还致敬了我最爱的电影片段《雨中曲》的片段雨中曲，所以给四星～
确实是意料之外的惊喜，虽然还未看过日本原片，但这片的改编比起去年的《人潮汹涌》肯定是好上不少。魏翔低头哈腰说“谢谢吉米哥”时，许冠杰的《天才白痴梦》简直点睛之笔。
银幕上的龙套出演着第一部大电影，那么魔幻
what？
确实是意料之外的惊喜，虽然还未看过日本原片，但这片的改编比起去年的《人潮汹涌》肯定是好上不少。魏翔低头哈腰说“谢谢吉米哥”时，许冠杰的《天才白痴梦》简直点睛之笔。
有一点点get到星仔的气氛
戏里戏外，主角配角
魏翔的演技一直没有问题，个人很喜欢他，但是电影着实一般，站不住脚的剧情看着尴尬。
恭喜陈明昊再次塑造了喜欢投资拍电影的黑帮大哥形象
含腾量为0的麻花喜剧，居然意外得很好笑很好看，还致敬了不少经典电影，戏精上身的魏翔这次有突破，扎起小辫子有低俗小说中约翰特拉沃尔塔既视感。有几段戏非常出彩，接连爆笑，是编剧和演员的出色配合演绎。一个看似非常扯淡胡闹的剧本，有现在的喜剧效果是绝对超常发挥了。
5.0分。“麻花版”喜剧之王。称不上电影，更像是一出闹剧。
二刷，结合已阅原作的感受后，《这个杀手不太冷静》牺牲了不少“踏实”情感氛围，但对很多桥段的本土化改编还是做得相当不错，至少作为喜剧片的观影体验依旧尚佳。
还好片尾有“魏成功”的鸡汤:
1、看完才发现本片翻拍自妻夫木聪主演的日本电影《魔幻时刻》。2、电影很有荒诞幽默的风格。灯光、布景的舞台剧风格明显，表情也比较夸张，也是话剧风。3、可能因为魏成功太想当男一号了，真的相信那没有摄影机也能拍摄的无稽之谈，别人就说他是傻子吧，以至于魏成功杀了哈维之后，吉米真把他当傻子逗。然而最后魏成功用自己当演员的经验，还是把米兰给救出来了。
为什么现在国产片不论拍的质量如何，名字起的都这么恶趣味？
一开始看到借鉴《喜剧之王》的桥段还觉得有点尴尬，但是看下来还是觉得挺好看的。
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