Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
石上那里好棒呀 有那么一丢get千年 cue了花晴什么的 好想看紫耀演不良
相当平庸，和其他的东西德间谍相比，简直平庸得似沙子，剧情毫无张力，发展的路线又是循规蹈矩的，可以得见的一切，没有任何意外。
情节没有第一部那么尬，但是也没有第一部那么欢快逗逼了。讲述其他角色的场景过多，有种喧宾夺主的感觉，让人不禁怀疑这是辉夜的番外篇吗？这点其实很不好，幸好结尾视线又回到辉月和白银2人身上了，总算没有歪剧。剧情有笑点，但不多。从普通观众的角度来说，大概就6.5分的水准，对老婆粉来说，10分！就是有一点要吐槽下，环奈老婆身材又发福走形了，形体管理真心要提上日程了~
虽然还是很努力在还原了，但造型和表演还是尬到了极点，体育祭奉心祭两大篇章算是又被毁干净了。但是，作为剧场版完结篇这个结局改得是真好啊！删掉了大佛没有了原作一系列恶心人操作可以安心走石燕线，删掉了斗财阀争遗产没有了原作炒面人等大量令人无语情节就让白辉顺利地出国成对发糖。这不是把赤坂的原作按在地上摩擦吗？赤坂给动画组磕完头再给真人版剧组也磕几个吧。
想起去年在阆中看别人在肯德基喊“异世相遇，尽享美味”的场景…
现在的肥桥真的不太适合演这种角色了，太容易出戏了。。。倒是书记员那个演员很可爱，角色性格也是我喜欢的类型。校园祭最后太浪漫了，大浪漫与小浪漫的对比和碰撞，好棒
感谢京子客串。熊猫直呼内行。
拍得这么干瘪，观众为什么不直接看剧本（实际上剧本也很差强人意，那就是个故事大纲，还有像鸟的自由和死亡这种大一新生水平的隐喻），要跑电影院里来看电影？TV movie的水准，故作冷酷 ，nonstop boring的镜头，连erotic scenes都boring，整个故事讲述得只有骨架而没有肉，人物干扁主题干扁，无任何渲染，毫无悬念和张力，使得Lars Eidinger具有爆发力的表演就像他的身高一样突兀。建议所有企图用冷峻风格表达历史冷峻的导演好好研究一下俄罗斯电影《格言》，如果没有人家那种技术和审美，就不要做减法了，还是做加法吧。p.s.竟然又看到Lars Eidinger的裸体了，AB面都有，已经数不清是第几次了，而这次是我觉得最没有必要这么全身投入的。
我要给这个魔改结尾打一万分！！！求求动画组参考下，就按这个结局来好吗
比上一部好看，不过国内视频网站要是非得这么翻译的话能不能就别买了。坦白，欣赏我真是醉了
很年轻。很韩寒。坐我旁边的妹子嫩得出汁。我一下子意识到青春的美好。
大型小众旅游目的地宣传片，恶心，拧巴，纠结。河南人刘昊然和东北人沈腾在南方某地说粤语，就是这种拧巴的证据。你说他是体育电影，并没有一条胜负竞技的主线，你说他是文艺片，里边全是低级幼稚的笑料，谐音梗，拙劣的飞车特技。事实上，人到中年的韩寒，还停留在小学生时代，就跟这部电影里的万宝路一样，从来都没被点燃过
虽然很扯，但很欢乐。致敬全裸监督，鲁邦的女儿之类，日本人就是能把流行热炒在一
小虫误入蛛网越挣扎网越紧，不是因为lars滤镜，就是普通人的恐惧传达得很好，揪心到最后一枪错愕得想感谢仁慈。
这故事，前半部分（南澳岛阶段）能赢得一部分观众的喜爱，小镇青年狂放不羁泡妞飙车的碎片式生活被镜头展现的淋漓尽致；后半部分（来广州后）也可能会有观众喜欢，一线城市里小人物的爱情和男主为了爱情拼尽全力试图逆风翻盘的理想化行为最终化为泡影。但，当前半部分和后半部分糅合进一部电影中，就有了一种不伦不类感，假如没有前半部分的铺垫，后半部分男女主在广州打拼的内容，单拎出来，虽然不接地气但至少不会令人如此反感....本片证明了，韩寒导演还是适合拍点金句频出的小品电影，不适合放大电影主题，小镇青年走向城市的故事，是一个社会性大命题，韩寒驾驭不了。。
今天和男朋友在电影院看滴，不错不错，比第一部好看很多！
抛梗挺多，比上一部有进步，真人剧场版原创结局接受度尚可，总体比上一部好多了。
呵呵，还是那句话，赤坂我杀你一千遍也不够！
我很喜欢这部电影，这可能是目前为止我最喜欢的一部韩寒的电影。没有大家说的那么差，一切都很好，情绪一直很舒缓，不会大起大落。《麦琪的礼物》前后呼应，一个怕火一个怕水，第一次觉得昊然弟弟那么帅！
看这个本来也没什么特别高的期待，看得很快乐，在pyzy好帅和好丑之间左右横跳，看这种电影还能心动一定是我的问题😂千年说喜欢会长哪里的那段狠狠地心动了还有日剧跑那段，我怀疑青春相关电影只要日剧跑配个bgm我就会兴奋吧，但其他部分就脚趾抠地，所以才入戏马上就出戏了，感觉原作确实不太适合改电影，还有就是两个主演个人色彩太突出了让我入不了戏（当然这可能是我的问题
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